this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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