I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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