Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
