U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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