hell yes lets make some ravioli
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize