i was born a porn star she said
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
