If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize