I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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