What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
