Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
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