I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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