so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
