I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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