i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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