so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
