I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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