My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I will be naked everywhere
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
