but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
