Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize