VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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