I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
