just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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