before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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