I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
