I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
