It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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