Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I'm always down for nudity.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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