He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize