You don't have asthma, your pregnant
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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