I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize