"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize