i just wanna soil my oats bro
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
