Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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