My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
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