her vagine was all disorganized.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
