He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
