Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
