I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
