just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
