woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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