All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
