What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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