hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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