He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
