My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
