? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
