What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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