My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
