The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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