The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm at about main and main street
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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