Umm I'm too high to move.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Just pee around me
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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