When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
