how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
party gras won. party gras always wins.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
