Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
