i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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