You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
