but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize